What high-performing leaders discover when they stop trying to have all the answers
Dear Change Leader,
“Do you mind if I ask your opinion on something?” a seasoned executive asked me recently. “If you could share one thing that many leaders miss—something that could unlock a new level of leadership for them—what would that be?”
His question stopped me in my tracks. Not because I didn’t know the answer, but because it reminded me of a pattern I’ve observed in many capable, driven leaders.
Here’s what I told him: The thing that many leaders struggle to truly learn is that they don’t have to know everything.
If you’re reading this and thinking, “Of course I know that,” I invite you to pause for a moment. Because knowing it intellectually and actually practicing it are two very different things!
Two Dimensions of “Not Knowing”
Your recognition of “not knowing” has two critical applications that transform how you show up as a leader:
You don’t have to have all the answers.
This brings humility, curiosity, and—let’s be honest—a much-needed dose of realism to your leadership approach.
You don’t need to be aware of everything happening on your team.
This reduces the anxiety that comes from desperately trying to stay plugged into every detail, every conversation, every decision.
The benefit? A dramatically reduced cognitive load that frees up time and mental space for what you should be focused on as a leader: exploring boundaries, staying open to what might be emerging, and thinking strategically about the future.
The Exhausting Trap of Omniscience
I see it repeatedly with high-performing leaders. You’ve been rewarded throughout your career for having answers, for being the person others turn to when things get complicated. That pattern served you well—until it didn’t.
Now you’re leading at a scale where it’s impossible to know everything. The context changes too quickly. The challenges are too complex. The team is too large or distributed.
Yet there’s a little voice inside you that whispers that a “real leader” should know more, should have clearer answers, should be more on top of the details.
That whisper is costing you more than you realize.
What Changes When You Let Go
When leaders genuinely embrace not knowing everything, several shifts become possible:
- Your team steps up. When you’re not the source of all answers, others develop their problem-solving muscles. They bring you solutions, not just problems.
- You focus on what matters. Instead of trying to track every detail, you’re freed up to concentrate on the strategic questions facing your organization.
- You become more present. When you’re not mentally juggling a thousand data points, you can actually listen to what people are telling you about what’s emerging.
- Your stress decreases. The impossible task of staying current is replaced by the more achievable task of staying oriented to what’s most important.
Three Practices for This Week
- The “I Don’t Know” Experiment
The next time someone asks you a question you don’t immediately know the answer to, try saying: “I don’t know, but let’s figure it out together“. Notice what happens—both for you and for them. - Strategic Information Filtering
Choose one area where you’ve been trying to stay on top of everything. This week, identify the few core pieces of information that truly matter for your decision-making, and let the rest go. Ask someone else to own those details and report only exceptions. - Boundary Setting Conversation
Have a conversation with your team about what they really need from you versus what you’ve been trying to provide. You might be surprised by the gap between your perception and their needs.
The Leadership You Unlock
The freedom to not know everything isn’t about becoming disengaged as a leader. It’s about becoming a more strategic one.
When you stop trying to be omniscient, you can finally focus on what only you can do: creating conditions for others to succeed, making decisions that require your bigger-picture perspective, and staying attuned to the bigger picture that others might miss.
Your team doesn’t need you to have all the answers. They need you to ask the right questions, make decisions with limited information, and create space for collective wisdom to emerge.
The most effective leaders I work with have learned something counterintuitive: the less they try to control what they know, the greater their influence and impact will be.
Until next time,
P.S. Sometimes the most valuable thing a leader can model is comfort with uncertainty. If this resonates and you’d like to explore how to apply this shift in your specific leadership context, I’d welcome the chance to have that conversation with you.
Become More Comfortable with “Not Knowing”
Moving your team and organization through change is never easy. Especially if you’ve embraced this radical idea of “not knowing” everything happening around you!
Join me on Wednesday, October 1 in an online workshop that will help you become more comfortable in the space we often find ourselves as leaders, the “not knowing.”
Between Control and Curiosity:
How we can allow the new to emerge from a place of not knowing
This is Module One of the five-part series on “Cultivating Resilient Organizations,” a global program for leaders and change agents.
I look forward to seeing you there!
EFFECTIVE CHANGE RESULTS FROM INTENTIONAL LEADERSHIP
We’re a leadership and organization development consultancy. My team and I work with leaders like you to prepare for and lead successful change processes.
Here’s why our clients call us:
- Leadership Coaching: I support leaders as they navigate transitions into new roles or expanded responsibilities.
- Group Coaching and Learning Programs: Bringing groups of leaders together, I facilitate learning experiences and months-long programs that equip people to be effective change leaders.
- Effective Teams and Stronger Organizations: I work with leaders and their teams with tailored processes that increase their effectiveness, building layers of aligned teams that transform organizations.